Girls, Just Let the Past Be the Past

Today's blog deals with relationships and the different ways people fuck them up. And by people, I mean women.

Now before you get all defensive, please remember I, too, am a woman. And I, too, have been guilty of a few of these things myself.

The inspiration for this comes from a long phone conversation I had with my best friend's boyfriend and the follow-up conversation I had with her.

First off, I really like her boyfriend. He's an amazing guy, and he REALLY loves her. He's messed up a time or two, and she's beginning to doubt him more and more. On a recent vacation, he got a text from his ex or some crap and she's flipping out about it... Whatever. My friend has dated some total douchebags in her past, and she has trust issues.

Now. If you are a woman, you're probably sympathizing with her, and if you're a man you're probably thinking my friend needs to get over herself and give the boyfriend a chance. So who's right?

The correct answer, surprisingly, would be the guys.

As women, we tend to dwell on our past entirely too much, and we tend to take it out on every guy that enters our life there after. I will say that it's okay to keep your guard up for a while. Nobody wants to hurt any more than necessary. But there comes a time when you just gotta let that shit go.

Now what I didn't tell you before is that her boyfriend has past issues of his own. His ex (yes, the one that sent him that text over vacation) cheated on him multiple times. Bigger problem: bitch gets pregnant and doesn't know who the daddy is. Even BIGGER problem: after they decide to stay together for the child and boyfriend will raise the baby no matter whose it is, she ends up losing the baby. Talk about a damn mess, right? On top of all that craziness, he suspects she might have had an abortion because she knew the baby wasn't his and was afraid he'd leave her.

Point being, he has a 100% valid reason to never want to date again. But he can put that behind him to date my friend. So why can't she do the same for him? (I can guarantee you her past is nowhere near as severe as his.)

Ladies, here's the thing. You can't judge every guy you date by the skeeze wads you dated before him. It's not his fault. And to be honest, if you keep having the same problem with every guy you date... The "problem" could be you. Now hold on, I'm not saying it's your fault he's cheating. More than likely he's just a douche who doesn't know how to keep his dick in his pants. But if you keep dating that same type of guy, you need to change your "type".

Last night started all because she keeps questioning him in her mind but won't talk to him about it, and she is single-handedly causing a big ol gap in their relationship. But after talking to him myself (since she wouldn't... And yes, she gave me permission), I saw even more how much he loves her. This boy nearly cried talking about his fear of her leaving him. And he's one of those big redneck boys, so crying doesn't happen often with him. He bought her a ring and everything. Now he's just waiting on HER to stop being insecure.

So ladies, do you see what's going on? She's so obsessed with her insecurities that she can't let herself be happy. She finally has a guy worth keeping, and now she might lose him.

The moral of this story, girls (and guys--well done for reading all of that), is that second-guessing men seems to be a hard habit to kick... But you've gotta let it go before you can ever really be happy. I mean, go to counseling if you need to! Ain't no shame in that game, girls! You gotta do what you gotta do... for YOU. We all deserve love. Now it's time for you to accept it.